For the past few years, there has been an annual rally in Asheville where women are encouraged to go bare breasted as it is technically legal for them to do so in the state. A handful of women do just that, causing a major commotion in the downtown area and an even bigger commotion in local media outlets. Apparently, it’s been too much commotion. State Representative Tim Moffitt of Asheville and State Representative Rayne Brown of Lexington filled a bill (H34 “Clarify Indecent Exposure Law”) that would modify the state’s indecent exposure law to include “external organs of sex and excretion, including the nipple, or any portion of the areola, of human female”. As almost an admission of the seeming ridiculousness of the law, it even had to be clarified that the law would only apply to humans. Topless cats would still be perfectly legal.

The knee-jerk reaction to this has been to argue about whether or not nipples are actually offensive. It also isn’t clear why the vast majority of the surface area of the breast is ok to show off, but not the relatively small portion of the breast that makes up the nipple. There’s also a question of whether or not “external excretion organs” would include sweat glands, which would mean that all citizens would now have to cover every inch of skin head to toe while in public.

But the greater question is this: why does the state of North Carolina need to pass a law that is only aimed at one city? Multiple cities in the state have ordinances banning women from going topless in public. Asheville has no such ordinance, which is one of the reasons why the rally is held there. If other cities have been able to handle this issue on their own, then surely the elected officials in Asheville would be more than capable to do the same. It should also be mentioned that there are no regular hoards of topless women rampaging through the streets all across the state. This is very much a local issue and therefore should not be the basis for state wide policy.

If the citizens of Asheville are bothered enough by the prospect of seeing a naked human being, then they should take it up with the city council. Representatives Moffitt and Brown have more important things to attend to that this obvious attempt at political grandstanding.

My standard short and sweet explanation has always been  that being a libertarian means admitting three things. One, I’m me; two, you’re you; three, we should keep it that way. A simple, straight forward message that practically anyone can understand. Then the subtle details start to crop up. For instance, admitting that you and I are different and that nothing should be done to change that fact doesn’t mean that you and I have to like each other. It just means that it’s ok if one of us finds the other “unlikeable”, and unless we choose to try to overcome that on mutually agreed upon terms, then one of us can’t force the other to be “likable”. That kind of thing is surprisingly difficult to admit, particularly when it comes to things like morality and politics, but when it comes to someone’s personal life it seems to be a pretty standard mode of operation. Fundamentally, that’s what being libertarian is all about.

The idea gets clouded issue by issue, such as when discussing war or taxes or bans on saggy pants. But that personal level should never be forgotten. Once you can say that you belong to you, and everyone else belongs to everyone else, then the rest is pretty easy.

But, as I’ve gotten older and more….well, I won’t say “more libertarian” because that sounds a little too holier-than-thou for my liking, but more thoughtful on my own independence, I’ve noticed a bit of an aversion to events like the Olympics popping up in my mind. For a while, I let it get the better of me and I avoided the Olympics altogether. As a result, I missed out on a great deal of the 2000 Sydney games and the 2004 Athens games. Which, in retrospect, is incredibly stupid. I missed out on following some great performances those years. For instance, in both 2000 and 2004 Valentina Vezzali put on dominating performances in Women’s Foil (fencing), winning an individual gold medal for Italy each year. Fencing is probably my favorite of the Olympic sports, yet because of this weirdness I was feeling I missed out on following her runs as they happened. In hindsight, that really sucks.

My discomfort came from feeling like I “had” to pull for the American competitors. Not because they were the best, but because they were American’s. But over the years, in both the winter and summer games, I found myself drawn to athlete’s from other nations. One that stands out is from the 1996 games when Deon Hemmings became the first Jamaican to ever win a gold medal in any event. I remember thinking “how cool would it have been to watch the first American win Olympic gold?”. Quick trivia: according to my best Google skills, that would be James Brendan Connelly at the 1896 Olympics in the triple jump….so that at least covers the modern era.

I liked cheering for these other athletes, I liked the feel good stories that surrounded them so often. But I liked it even more when I was cheering for an American. I mean, c’mon, Barcelona in 1992? I loved watching the Dream Team decimate opponents left and right and I know good and well that I wouldn’t have liked it nearly as much if it hadn’t been Micheal Jordan, Charles Barkley, Larry Bird, Scottie Pippen, Patrick Ewing, Magic Johnson, and Carl Malone doing the decimation. I was a freaking eight year old boy from North Carolina in ’92. Micheal Jordan was my life as far as sports were concerned at that point.

But I just felt weirded out by automatically discrediting the other competitors at the games  for the sole reason that they weren’t American’s.  That bothered me, and I let that get the better of me for a while. It was that magical time in a person’s life when they just don’t want to like anything anyway, so it was an easy feeling to give into. But at the same time, something else happened. I became a member of the North Carolina heavy metal scene. Without going too much into detail, the experience of being in a local band instilled a sense of camaraderie in me. I found myself favoring music made in NC, not because it was specifically better than anything else, but because I was just proud of my fellow Tar Heel musicians because they were Tar Heels. That didn’t stop me from liking music made by people in other states or countries. It was just an added little wrinkle, an extra connection, that made it better. And if I could enjoy NC music better than anything else while still enjoying music made elsewhere, why not apply that same thinking to the Olympics (or anything else for that matter)?

So then the 2008 Beijing games came along. Micheal Phelps won his 8 medals and Usain Bolt became the fastest thing on two legs. Watching Bolt tear up the track was incredible and will stand out for the rest of my life as one of the greatest athletic achievements I’ve ever seen. But when the Men’s 400m relay swim race was on, I was hoping just that much more for the American team to win for no reason other than Phelps was an American and I wanted to see an American win 8 medals. And then the French team fell behind, and it was awesome to watch.

We can argue about the cost, hassle, and overall uselessness of the Olympic games plenty. And there is such a thing as being too obsessive about one’s own culture. There’s nothing wrong with a little flirtation with nationalism, however, so long as it doesn’t become a barrier to appreciating an achievement in general. The primary reason for appreciating any achievement should be the achievement itself, whether it be in a sporting event or in a new scientific discovery. But that extra little feeling of connection, or maybe even just context when it comes to something like the “Miracle on Ice”, based on nothing more than a geographic and biological luck of the draw? Go ahead, enjoy it. It’s ok.

It is just a game, after all.

What really rubs me raw is that neither of the two candidates running against him have managed to come up with a decent come back. And the President’s statements practically tee-up Mitt Romney or Gary Johnson to absolutely knock one out of the park here. I mean, hell, I managed to come up with what those responses should be before I finished listening to the first sound byte. But, as per usual, I’ve managed to think faster than the people running for president (it’s a heavy burden to bear), so I present to you the three responses I came up with to the President’s completely idiotic repetition of Elizabeth Warren.

Mitt Romney – “Today, the President says that if you’ve built a business you didn’t do it alone. That there was always someone there to help you along the way. And I’d like to second that sentiment. As someone who has helped business men and woman realize their dream of owning and operating their own business, I can tell you that yes, sometimes they do need a hand up in achieving their goals. I have been that hand up numerous times, and I’m very proud of that fact. I also recognize that it is not a function of the office of the presidency to start businesses, unlike the current administration when it comes to things like Solyndra. And when the president talks about roads, he doesn’t recognize that his job in that matter is to get out of the way of local officials who want to repair their local infrastructure without some federal bureaucrat standing in their way. The same sentiment could be said about education. The one thing standing in the way of all of these reforms are the policies of the Obama administration. And as president, I’ll seek to repair these broken policies starting on day one.”

Gary Johnson – “The President today said that no businessman ever started a business on their own. Well, I would like to point out that I stand before you as an example of a businessman who started on his own. When I struck out on my own back in 1976, the only person I employed was myself. When I sold that business in 1999, it was one of the leading construction companies in New Mexico and employed over 1,000 individuals. The President talked about all of the help that the government gives to help people succeed, such as roads and good teachers. I can tell you that the only way to achieve those things now is to follow the model I advocated in New Mexico. By the end of my time in office, we had implemented a major rebuilding of our infrastructure and school choice was a serious item for debate. In addition to that, I used the power of the veto an unimaginable 750 times, never once raised taxes, and left my state with a budget surplus of over a billion dollars. All while getting government out of the way of the citizen. The President says that to be successful, everyone needs help. I say that the President has no help to offer anyone who wants to be successful.”

Little Ole Me – “Today, the President made an astounding statement. He suggested that, in this day and age, any business that doesn’t use public roads or the internet will fail. I have half a mind to take on his challenge. Which seems to be the part that the President doesn’t understand. Businesses don’t succeed or fail because of the achievements of the past. I’ve never owned a business, but I have watched the man I work for do everything in his power to keep the doors open for the company he built and loved. A few years ago, when the recession hit it’s depths, times were tough for us. We had to work short hours just to make sure that the payroll didn’t bankrupt the company. All the while, my boss ran himself all over the country trying to find new customers and new sources of income just to make sure his business would survive. And I realized that he would have done that whether he was driving on a public road or slashing through an untamed jungle. I pride myself on being good at what I do, but I don’t have a job because of that. I have a job because my boss did what he had to do to keep his business alive. Government never has and never will provide that motivation, and as far as I’m concerned the only thing government can do is get out of the way when someone is so motivated.”

See? Not so hard.

Let me try and compare this to something a little more front of mind. Every presidential cycle, much ado is made about what kind of staff and cabinet a potential president will surround themselves with. This year, for instance, we’re all terrified that Mitt Romney might appoint a bunch of folks who served under the Bush administration or, even worse, that Barack Obama will surround himself with exactly the same people he has been surrounding himself with already. The reason so much attention is paid to these potential appointments is that the people who get appointed are the ones who make things happen. Much of the regulatory structure that exists in the country is built and maintained by these people. For instance, take a look at the Patient Affordable Protection From Unicorns act. The phrase “as the Secretary shall determine”, or something similar to it, appears no less than  1,039 times in that stack of government paper. That means that 1,039 times the legislature basically said “this needs to be done, so the secretary will figure out how to do it”. The “Secretary” here being the Secretary of Health and Human Services, an appointed position by the Prez, and the head of the department that will be figuring out how to do all this crap.

Meanwhile, back on the Old North farm, the Council of State is kind of like that with the major difference being that each position on the Council isn’t appointed by the Governor or the state legislature. They’re all elected officials who have to run their own state wide campaigns independent of either the legislature or the governor’s office. And they’re all offices specifically focused in on one aspect of governance here in NC. These are all things that play very well into the hand of an alternative political party attempting to expand it’s message. Of course, I’m talking about the Libertarian Party.

Now, let’s get a few things out of the way before moving on. First off, these are probably the least libertarian-ish offices that get voted on. Everything they do is, thanks to the separation of powers laid out in the state’s constitution, mandated by the legislature. So they don’t exactly get to set their own agendas, which is something that rubs raw on the libertarian sense of individualism and the general screw-you attitude we take to top down authority. Second, the Libertarian Party struggles to run one state-wide campaign in a single election, let alone running ten (or possibly eleven if a national senate seat is up for contention). Mostly, this is due to a lack of funding and organization, but it would also be a problem because the number of people willing to take on a state-wide campaign is severely low. Hell, it’s hard enough just to find people who will run as Libertarians, much less find people who will run all across the state. Third, these aren’t high profile positions and as such aren’t attractive to people who just want to “promote the message”. I mean, really, when’s the last time you saw the NC Commissioner of Insurance in the headlines?

But, strategically speaking, I think these are positions that cannot be ignored. For starters, it would take a lot of pressure off of whoever is running for governor. As it stands, the gubernatorial candidate fielded by the Libertarian Party isn’t just expected to know Libertarian ideas for something like education inside and out, but is also expected to explain those ideas in full detail in a single response to a single question in a single location. But, if there was a Libertarian candidate for Superintendent of Public Instruction, then that responsibility would fall on them and their campaign, freeing the gubernatorial candidate to focus more on overall agenda statements in their answers. One can promote the line “we need to focus on personal choice in education”, while the other runs around the state explaining exactly how that could happen. The same could be said for more local races, with local candidates being able to focus their campaigns on implementing libertarian ideas to answer issues specific to their districts while the statewide candidates focus on broader policy ideas on an issue by issue basis.

And then there’s the off chance that a Libertarian candidate for one of these offices might actually win. This would put someone who holds the ideal of “minimal government” near and dear to their heart in between the actions of the state legislature and the citizens. Remember, these are the people who actually implement the stuff that Raleigh comes up with. So, sticking with the education theme, if the legislature mandates that every single course taught in public schools be required to have a standardized test, then the Superintendent of Public Instruction would be the one who figures out all the details. That represents a lot of power and a hell of a firewall between the State and the citizens.For comparison’s sake, imagine if it was a Libertarian deciding how to implement those 1,039 things in the national health care law.

It’s a big project to suggest for a political party that is underfunded and underexposed. It’s a little idealistic to even suggest, I know. But it’s my opinion that the North Carolina Libertarian Party should make it a goal to run candidates in all nine of theses races in the next election cycle. I’ll even volunteer myself to run for one if need be.

I may not know how to pull it off, but I at least realize that it needs to happen.

-ATB

First off, let me say that I honestly expected the SCOTUS to strike down the federal requirement for every American citizen to purchase a health insurance policy. Which they did. And that’s a pretty good reason to stop and say a small “thank you” to the heavens. It is still not possible for the federal government to force an individual to buy something from someone or something else. That is an important point to make, I think, because it does provide a judicial precedent that the Commerce Clause of the Constitution cannot be used to create commerce.

And then, wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles, they managed to find a way to screw that victory over royally. It is now perfectly ok for the feds to fine you for not doing something. So follow that line of thought for a minute….they can’t REQUIRE you to do something, but they can CHARGE you for not doing it.

There’s a labyrinth of suggestions that has popped up on the interwebs as a result of this ruling, all circling around various ideas of what you could now be required to pay money to the federal government for not doing. Hell, I’ve thrown out a few of my own just for fun. But let’s stop thinking of it as a punitive thing for a moment. Let’s think of it in another light, one that is perfectly acceptable to pretty much everyone on the face of the planet for whatever reason. The feds just got a new way to incentivize something.

Think of all the things that are encouraged by the federal government. Getting married, putting solar panels on your house, giving to charity, buying a house, starting a business, having a child, the list expands out as far as the eye can see. The thing is, the primary way for them to incentivize something is by reducing the amount you pay in taxes through tax credits. Now the incentive can be given by increasing the amount you pay. Get married or pay five bucks a year. No solar panels? Well, you’ll have to change that or pony up ten dollars. Boy, we sure could use some new jobs, so let’s charge every millionaire who doesn’t own a business $1000 a year for not opening one up. You didn’t give $100 to breast cancer research, so you’ll need to give $90 to the government so they can donate it for you. Ah, such incentive.

And you can’t really say that it’s out of the realm of possibility. There are already plenty of taxes in existence that are meant to discourage some kind of activity. I’m sure you’re familiar with the idea of a “sin” tax. Those would be the excise taxes levied on the purchase of “bad” products such as tobacco and alcohol with the purpose being to make the cost of the products higher than what people really want to pay for them, or at least prevent people from buying more than they want. And hey, what do ya know? That’s all done in the interest of ….GASP!…..public health.

Now, as stupid as that idea is, what happened yesterday is even dumber. Now, instead of being “charged” for buying cigarettes, you can be charged for not buying nicotine patches. Considering that the amount of things that a person doesn’t do vastly outweighs the amount of things that a person does do, this little nuance creates a pretty big headache.

I know all the arguments (you have to buy auto insurance, it works in Canada, my friend with the chronic leg tumors finally got a health insurance policy for her and her nine kids, forever and ever, amen, blah, blah, blah). But none of them change the fact that until yesterday, you couldn’t be charged for not owning a car, not being Canadian, and not having cancer or children. Now, you can, and it might sound insane and stupid to say it that way, but please remember that insane and stupid people gain political power all the time.

Yay!

Let me ‘splain….

6 years ago, I went on a mission trip the week of my birthday. I was just going to be a counselor at Laurel Ridge (for those unaware, its a little Moravian camp in mountains that, among other things, sends mission teams out into the local community to help to help poor folks and elderly folks with things like housework and lawn care and just general chores. The mission groups are mostly church youth groups who come to the camp).

My dad had pushed really hard to get me to go on that trip. That wasn’t the kind of thing he usually did. Dad’s more of a “stand back and offer advice when asked” kind of guy when it comes to things like faith and activities pertaining to such. I finally said yes to the idea and a few days before my birthday we piled in a church van with a bunch kids and headed up the mountain.

Now, here’s the interesting thing. My grandmother, Rosemary Adams Hicks, had passed away roughly six months prior to this. She had been slipping further and further away for awhile, not only physically but mentally as well. By the time that her body finally gave out, her mind was about as unplugged as it can get and still be technically conscious. Which royally sucked to watch because the woman is one of the most kick ass persons that I have ever met or will ever meet. Not just because she was my grandmother, but the lady just knew her shit, you know? Full of love, devotion, hope, wisdom, creativity, appreciation, general awesomeness, and it was a privilege to be inspired by her every time I was around her. Watching her fade out had been painful, and I just slowly got used to the idea that she was gonna die soon. I detached like they say you’re supposed to, and when the time came it was just something to be accepted as far as I was concerned, not mourned.

So the death wasn’t that hard to take when it happened. And I had had a birthday when she was “unplugging”. But that first birthday afterwards? That was when I had to accept that she wasn’t there any more and wasn’t going to be there ever again. Not accepting her death, but accepting her absence. You see, for most of my life, every year on my birthday, she made sure to bake an angel food cake because it was my favorite. My twenty second birthday was going to be the first one where I was going to have to accept the fact that Mema was never again going to bake me an angel food cake for my birthday, and that caught me more than a little off guard. The closer my birthday got, the more nagging the pain that idea caused became. So as much as anything, I went to Laurel Ridge to try to drown out bad feeling of missing my grandma with the good feeling I got from helping people.

While I was there, I met a lot of cool people. The lady who ran the place was this awesome hippie-like gal who just seemed to love everything there was to love. I helped a guy who was damn near ten feet tall mow his lawn because, besides being almost 100 years old it seemed, he had been bitten in each foot by a rattlesnake and was having a little trouble walking around. And I also met this girl. She was funny but subtle, cute but simple, and just seemed to take in the world around her a little differently than everyone else. The more I talked to her, the more I liked her, and the more I liked her the less I found myself able to talk. We exchanged information, phone numbers and such, when I left…which I promptly lost as soon as I got back home because that’s just the kind of moron I am. The kind of moron who says “Hey, can I have your phone number?” without giving my own in return.

As luck would have it, she was a lot more resourceful than I was and tracked me down on the social-verse once she got home. After night after night of talking on the phone until the phones went dead, after month after month of dating, after month after month of being engaged, I married that amazing girl I met at the check in table at Laurel Ridge, and have been amazed and empowered by her ever since.

Now, your religious worldview might be a little different than mine, but this is my story and as such only my religious worldview matters here. And in my religious worldview, it would seem that Mema tried doing something in the afterlife that she never did in life. She played matchmaker. She got up to the great amusement park in the sky, turned right the hell around at the ticket booth, and said “Wait! Before I go in, there’s this one last thing to do.” And then after poking and prodding all the right pieces into place, she watched me meet the woman of my dreams, fall in love, and then proudly proclaim in front of anyone and everyone who would listen that I was choosing to put her happiness and well being in front of my own, forever and ever, amen. She, along with that other nice lady who was doing just as much on the opposite side to achieve the same outcome, went into the park content with a job well done.

So I might be a little sarcastic and not as “excited” when it comes to reacting to birthday wishes and birthday gifts. But it’s not because I’m unappreciative or unexcited over these things. It’s just that, as far as I’m concerned, my grandmother has already outdone anything anyone else could ever do (with a few possible special exceptions).

At the very least, it beats the hell out of angel food cake.